Julian Assange, homme de l'année pour "Le Monde."
Original article (French)
English translation (Julian Assange, Man of the Year for "Le Monde")
(Blind dating in the iPhone X and XXX era... who says a cell phone can't double as a sex toy?)
INT. RESTAURANT - EVENING
JIM and MONICA sit at a table. A half-full beer is in front of him. She's drinking wine.
JIM: Monica, your hair looks great.
She tosses her blonde mane back and forth.
MONICA: I was going for the "dumb blonde" look. Did it work?
He LAUGHS. Suddenly, his cell phone VIBRATES LOUDLY. He JUMPS a bit, then reaches into his pocket to turn it OFF.
MONICA: You set it to vibrate for me?
JIM: Well, I didn't want anything to interrupt our blind date.
MONICA: You could have set up a fake call to get out of it.
JIM (embarrassed): You caught me.
MONICA: You ignored your own fake call? (pause) That's so sweet! (pause) Your iPhone has a really strong buzz.
JIM: Yeah, it's louder than my old phone.
MONICA: May I look at it?
He hands the iPhone to her. She pulls her phone out of her purse and gives it to him.
MONICA: Call your phone.
JIM: So we're exchanging numbers?
MONICA: I'm not as dumb as I look.
He LAUGHS, and PUNCHES NUMBERS into her phone. His phone, in her hands, VIBRATES LOUDLY again. He holds out his hand.
JIM: Here, I'll make it ring.
MONICA: Not so fast.
She massages her neck and face with the VIBRATING PHONE, obviously enjoying the vibration. It STOPS.
MONICA: Aw. Call again.
He REDIALS, and the phone in her hands VIBRATES LOUDLY again. She stares at him, while massaging her left breast with the VIBRATING PHONE. Her nipple appears through the fabric. The phone STOPS again.
JIM (embarrassed again): Umm... so this date is going well?
MONICA: Not bad, I'd say. Call again.
JIM (lightning fast): Okeydoke.
He REDIALS, and the phone in her hands VIBRATES LOUDLY again. She moves the phone below table level, up under her skirt and into her panties. She MOANS softly. The phone STOPS again. This time, he REDIALS without being asked.
MONICA (seductively): Clever boy.
She stands up, with the phone VIBRATING beneath her skirt. She beckons to him. He's startled, but throws some money on the table and stands up, too. She rubs his shoulder.
JIM: So... what's the plan?
MONICA: Keep redialing, Jim. If you do it all the way back to your apartment, no foreplay will be necessary. In fact...
The phone is still VIBRATING. She MOANS again - LOUDER - and SHUDDERS. The phone STOPS.
MONICA (continuing): Ooo, call me again. Call me *hard*.
They walk out of the restaurant, with her panties still VIBRATING.
© Alan C. Baird
The Social Network DVD.
Due out January 11.
Screenwriter: Aaron Sorkin
Director: David Fincher
Original Music: Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross
Stars: Jesse Eisenberg, Andrew Garfield, Justin Timberlake, Armie Hammer and Armie Hammer
Golden Globe nominations: 6
Something is rotten in the state of Sweden.
Subtitle: "For a good time in Stockholm, call Anna Ardin and Sofia Wilén."
I can't verify the reliability of these sources, but there's enough here to make you wonder:
Assange Case: Evidence Destroyed Over and Over Again
Assange Case: Ny Knows the Girls Made it Up but Doesn't Care
When it comes to Assange rape case, the Swedes are making it up as they go along
Time magazine says Zuckerberg is their person of the year... here.
This is what went the editors minds, methinks:
1) Assange can't have two covers in a row.
2) We don't wanna waste the cash we gave our stringers to write backgrounders on Zuckerberg.
3) Holder's stormtroopers knocked on our door, and we caved.
WikiLeaks, The Online Games.
1) WikiLeaks: The Game (Assange vs. Obama - "Wait for president Obama to fall asleep. Then plug your USB flash drive in his computer and download the secret files. Be careful, he's a very light sleeper.")
2) Uncle Sam vs WikiLeaks ("Hold A to attack. Hold down S to block. Arrow keys to move. Destroy the servers!")
Update: SNL's Bill Hader as Julian Assange, wondering if his imprisonment might have been inevitable: "For those who terrorize the United States, there's nowhere to hide. America will find you and punish you. Unless, of course, your name is Osama bin Laden."