» On 10/06/2024 05:10:00 AM Mountain Standard Time, Alan wrote:
Meet me at the cineplex! 

The "Saturday Night" movie will be released this coming Friday. Trailer below. Poster below that.

Favorite Actor (Finn Wolfhard as the NBC Page) ~ Book Chapter ~ Book.

Labels: acbpage

 
» On 10/01/2024 12:05:00 AM Mountain Standard Time, Alan wrote:
Validation from FEMA/Homeland Security. 

FEMA sez I'm certified to save yo' stinky butt in "times of crisis" by using "Social Media."
Uh-huh, uh-huh. 😉 [see image below]

The story behind this certificate is sorta interesting: during the later stages of the pandemic, just as the vaccines were being released, I was surfing the net with my usual energy and panache when I found some teenaged kid's LinkedIn account, which included a FEMA card. So I looked up Homeland Security's education site, and discovered all these weird-a** FEMA courses. There were dozens, if not hundreds.

I scrolled through the boring-as-sh*t Independent Study list, until I saw IS-42.a: Social Media in Emergency Management. It was just as snoozeworthy as the other courses, but it had a catchy title. My eyes lit up. That's when I enrolled, and studied my little heinie off. After a couple of days of cramming, I took the dry-as-dust exam and earned a perfect score! I was so proud of myself!!

So I downloaded the certificate, and posted it on my Facebook timeline. Everybody was impressed. Or at least they pretended, very convincingly. But it was only after doing all that work that I realized there were several "cheat" sites on the interwebs which contained every answer to every FEMA test. Sh*t. 😉

 
» On 9/01/2024 12:30:00 AM Mountain Standard Time, Alan wrote:
Hurley's Saloon and The Beer Of Keys. 

Hurley's Saloon, a 19th century townhouse-turned-bar at Sixth Avenue and 49th Street, was originally opened for business in 1892. It eventually became one of the oldest restaurants in New York City. When the area was being bought out to create Rockefeller Center in the 1920s and 30s, owner Adrien Barbey resisted, forcing real estate developers to build around Hurley's. As a result, the four-story structure carves out a much-lower profile on the southwest corner of the 66-story building known as "30 Rock." Hurley's was the hangout for TV stars like Jack Paar and Johnny Carson, mainly due to its proximity to the NBC studios.

[Recently, a group of celebrity investors including Saturday Night Live cast member Pete Davidson converted the old-timey Irish pub into a ritzy multi-level watering hole, with a "secret entrance" from 30 Rock on the fourth floor.]

During the late 1970s, Hurley's was the Sunday-morning destination of choice for SNL crew members and NBC Pages. After the show's goodnights at 1 am, we all headed over to decompress and suck down a beer or two. Cast members and guest performers were whisked away in limousines for their own fancy wrap party, but the rest of us peons had to settle for Hurley's. The drink prices were pretty steep, on a lowly Page's salary, but the bar offered free plates of chicken wings, so we supplemented our normal food intake by gobbling down the wings, while nursing our beers. A couple of us got into the habit of ordering Beck's Dark. It was a little more expensive, but it was much tastier. Over the months of our Pagedom, we eventually moved up the pecking order to become supervisory Key Pages. On the Sunday morning after our promotion, we finally noticed the key logo on the Beck's label and simultaneously blurted out, "The Beer Of Keys!"

Labels: acbpage

 
» On 8/01/2024 12:30:00 AM Mountain Standard Time, Alan wrote:
Franken v. Tartikoff. 

Al Franken was a writer and featured player on Saturday Night Live during the time I worked as an NBC Page. One week, he wrote a wickedly funny "news commentary" sketch that satirized Brandon Tartikoff, the soon-to-be-president of NBC's entertainment division. Following rehearsals, word quickly spread throughout 30 Rock... and we all became painfully aware that Tartikoff wanted to be in the studio audience. Uh-oh.

After Franken performed his sketch during the live broadcast, he ran over to me and frantically asked, "Where was he? Where was he?" I replied, "Did you happen to notice the guy sitting directly in your sight line, just behind the cue cards? The guy who walked out when the sketch ended?"

But instead of firing anybody, Tartikoff (1949-1997) performed on SNL the next week in a sketch that skewered Franken. Classy guy.

Labels: acbpage

 
» On 7/01/2024 12:30:00 AM Mountain Standard Time, Alan wrote:
My Olympian Goddess Infatuation. 

Since NBC will soon cover the 2024 Paris Olympics, I decided to write down my brush with an Olympics that took place a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...

After serving my stint on the NBC NY Page staff, I married a Page colleague and moved to the Los Angeles area - North Hollywood, to be exact. We lived in a crappy little one-bedroom apartment with a headstrong schnauzer named Gracie. But we were happy. For a while, anyway.

During the 1984 L.A. Olympics, I worked on a security team in the Olympic Village at the University of Southern California campus. Activity on the USC practice track followed a very regimented schedule, so all the teams could get some workout time. And my security station was right next to that track. The U.S. had boycotted the 1980 Moscow Olympics, so the Russians and their allies wanted to return the favor. Romania was the only Soviet Bloc country that opted to attend the L.A. Games. Which meant the Romanian team got a lot of positive attention.

But I was interested in only one Romanian. Doina Melinte was a real beauty. She moved like a gazelle and had a derrière like a Georgia peach. She specialized in the middle distances which I had run in high school and college. So whenever the Romanian team arrived at the practice track near my post, I couldn't resist the urge to stare at her. All the Olympic athletes were like gods to us mere mortals, but Doina was my own private goddess, and I put her on a very special pedestal. While she was working out, my gaze never wandered.

When the track & field events started a week later, over at the Coliseum, I got myself transferred to the stadium floor, so I could watch my goddess compete from trackside. Doina advanced easily through the qualifying heats, and ended up winning a silver in the 1500-meters and a gold in the 800. She never knew I existed, but I was so proud of her. I still have a Romanian Olympic team pin to commemorate my unrequited infatuation with an Olympian goddess.

Doina's 800m victory (3:19 video)

Romanian team pin:


Doina in high school:


28Jul1984 to 12Aug1984: providing airtight security, in the Olympic Village and on the track, for 8 bucks an hour.
(A cute little blue beret topped off that khaki outfit.)

Labels: acbpage

 
» On 6/06/2024 04:52:00 AM Mountain Standard Time, Alan wrote:
Facebook Suspension, Catch-22. 

When I tried to log on to FB this morning, they gave me a big popup: "We suspended your account." When I clicked on Why, they said: "We don't allow people on Facebook to pretend to be a business." OK, that was obviously not my transgression, so I clicked Appeal. They wanted my mobile number, so I gave it to them. Then I clicked Send Me A Code. They said: "Code not sent. Try again later or use a different mobile number." I tried both, but no dice. Hmm.

[tap images to enlarge] [my suspended FB account: https://facebook.com/alancb ] [Thanks for your help!]



FB article: Account Integrity and Authentic Identity

FB article: My personal Facebook account is disabled

UPDATE: FB apologized, following my Appeal, and I'm back, after being forced to (1) download Meta's Facebook app onto my phone, (2) download Meta's WhatsApp app onto my phone, (3) record a video selfie for WhatsApp, and (4) take a photo of my driver license for WhatsApp. But before reinstating me, they felt like they had to issue a threat:

Stop FB Hacks/Clones/Trolls!

 
» On 6/01/2024 12:05:00 AM Mountain Standard Time, Alan wrote:
Seizure World POW camp. 

When an email blast announced that our Main Gate (1 of 3) was closing for nearly 5 days, very few residents paid attention. Plus, now that the snowbirds are gone, many of the main drags inside our 960-acre (388-hectare), 55+ community are dug up for repaving, so it's like driving through a war zone. Even though we've all been given maps+dates of the reconstruction, the oldsters can't figure them out, or rely on their usual shortcuts anymore. Plus, using a GPS often leads to street blockages. The ensuing confusion has been quite entertaining. Yep, it's one helluva show, which led to the following exchange in our Google group...

>On Sat, May 18, 2024 at 9:27AM XYZ wrote:
This may sound stupid, but how do I get help to read the map that shows how to escape from this place on a daily basis?!

>On Sat, May 18, 2024 at 9:37AM Alan wrote:
LOL! Sorry, there is none. You'll have to dig your own tunnel. 😉

>On Sat, May 18, 2024 at 10:34AM PQR wrote:
My son and I spent about 30 minutes finding a way out Friday afternoon.

>On Sat, May 18, 2024 at 3:12PM Alan wrote:
Careful! Keep your eyes peeled for Colonel Klink.